Being a mom can be very overwhelming. The list of things to do is long, but the baby is crying so the list will just have to wait! The kids need you, but you really need to just sit down for a minute. Your teen is questioning your authority while you just don’t even know what to do with your preteen anymore. And then the van is making that funny noise again! We have all been there… what do you do when you are feeling discouraged? When you are feeling overwhelmed with all that you must do and the lives that God has entrusted to you, how do you respond to those pressures? Here are the things that I turn to when my life seems out of control, when I need to step back and change my perspective. I hope these will help you.
1. Pray
When I am feeling discouraged, I pray. I know that I need the Father to help encourage me and give me strength. I relinquish the reins of my life and give them over the rightful Owner. When I give Him my life and burdens, my life feels lighter. I Peter 5:7 puts it this way, “Casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.” My life can feel like a heavy burden on my shoulders with so much to do and little time to do it and the weight of raising children to know, love, and obey God. He will minister to my heart as I tell Him my burdens through prayer (He knows them already) and then listen to His voice of encouragement. I remember at least on one occasion when I was frustrated with my children, and instead of yelling at them, I took a deep breath and prayed silently. Oh, how I needed that prayer… and so did my children! Prayer redirected my heart and mind and helped give me perspective. The relationship with my children was strengthened instead of diminished because I took the time to pray instead of react in the heat of the moment.
2. Read my Bible
God’s Word has always been a comfort to me. Taking time out of my busyness to spend time in the Bible brings me comfort and peace in the craziness. Yes, I do read my Bible in the morning, but I might need to sneak away to my bed for a few minutes on an especially hard day to read some Truth. If you are unsure where you should begin, try reading the Psalms. Read one Psalm each day to find calm in your stress. Many people love Psalm 23 which teaches how God is our Shepherd who comforts and guides us through life. When I read God’s words aloud, I let them penetrate my heart. I cling to their promises.
3. Go outside
I love being outside. Yes, it might be really hot or really cold outside but being in Creation brings lots of peace and calm to my day when I am feeling discouraged. Whether I go for a walk or weed in the garden, breathing the fresh air helps to redirect my troubled heart and life. I love touching the dirt, feeling the warm sun, breathing the fresh air, and sensing the grass between my toes. Creation regulates all of us like nothing else. It calms us and refocuses our minds. One of my favorite spots in our home is on the front porch. Rocking in the rocking chairs and watching the birds in the field or hearing the cows at the neighbor’s house, brings peace to my day!
4. Exercise
I am not a hardcore athlete. I used to train year-round when I was in middle school and high school for soccer and basketball. Now, I stick to walking — either with my kids or by myself. It is great exercise which truly helps me when I am feeling discouraged. Sometimes I will walk and think about my life, but other times I will just enjoy the sunshine and talking with my kids as we walk. Walking helps me calm down and get a good perspective on a situation before jumping back into life. It gives me a little time out. Whether you like to sweat through aerobics or to lift weights or something else, exercise is not only good for your body, but it is good for your spirit as well, especially when you are feeling discouraged.
5. Spend time with friends
I’m sure you have some great friends. We all need them. When I am feeling discouraged, I look to certain friends who can pull me up and give me the pep talk that I need. Those friends are the balm that our souls and spirits need for healing. Find a time for a playdate, coffee date, or a phone call together. Spending time with friends to problem solve and laugh can be the best medicine that you can have. Their wisdom and insight can be just what you need. They reassure you that your situation is real and normal, and you will make it through it!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
6. Serve
When I am feeling discouraged, it can often be because I am too focused on myself and my problems. I need to turn my inward focus to an outward/others focus. Our family loves serving others. You can find ways to do the same by serving in a soup kitchen, baking some treats for your church’s staff, volunteering at church, visiting people in a nursing home, making a meal for another family, or bringing flowers to a friend. Find a way to focus your heart and mind on others instead of yourself. You will find great perspective in the middle of your hard time. Jesus even said that He didn’t come to be served but to serve and give His life. (Matthew 20:28) We should do the same.
7. Listen to podcasts/read a book
I have recently loved listening to podcasts and audiobooks. A perfectly timed podcast or book can be just what you need when you are feeling discouraged, whether it is fiction or nonfiction. I have loved hearing other authors and speakers shed light on some of the very things that we are going through as a family. Listening to wise women or men who are a little further along in their parenting, homemaking, or teaching has lifted my spirit and strengthened me. One of my favorite podcasts right now is the 1000 Hours Outside Podcast. Her perspective on motherhood and homeschooling has made me think a lot about my own life and home. It has deepened some of my core convictions and caused me to reevaluate other things. Podcasts and books can be a gifts whether they are for teaching or for entertainment.
8. Learn something new
I challenged myself this year to bake our own bread. I’m not talking sourdough bread — my kids don’t love the tang. I am talking about regular sandwich bread — and we eat through quite a bit around here with six children. Learning something new or being creative definitely helps me when I am feeling discouraged. It gets me out of the situation that I am in and uses another part of my brain. It is good for me to have a creative outlet — playing piano, watercolor painting, coloring with the kids, baking, designing on my Cricut, etc. You can even try new things with your kids — a new park, a new recipe, a new book, and more.
9. Listen to praise and worship music
Music definitely can help lift your mood anytime, but I feel that way especially with praise and worship music. When I am feeling discouraged, I play music LOUDLY and sometimes even have a dance party with the kids. The lyrics remind me of the Truths in the Word of God, and I focus on God and who He is. This changes my perspective as I shift my eyes from myself to God above. Have a playlist ready for those times when you need a boost in your day and be ready to worship through your day! It may only take one song to focus your heart and mind and give you a new soundtrack for your day!
10. Take time alone
I will often retreat to my bedroom for a few minutes or run to the grocery store alone once my husband gets home in order to recharge myself. With little ones who constantly need my attention or a baby that needs to have me holding her, I can easily become overstimulated by all of it. Taking time alone energizes me, even if it is just during a long hot shower. Do not feel guilty about needing this break. It is only normal and natural to need time away from the busyness of home life. Alone time can be just what you need to help with discouragement.
Did these tips help you? Which ones will you try? What do you do when you are feeling discouraged? Share with us your best tips and tricks in the comments below!
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