Follow along with me to discover eight characteristics of a Biblically-Minded Family — a family who knows the Word of God and transforms their minds to agree with the Scriptures.
Every day we are bombarded with messages that we are not good enough, we need a bigger house, our clothes are not cool anymore, our skin isn’t as young as it used to be, our children need to be involved in every activity, we need this gadget to be happy… and the list continues to grow. The world is sending us messages about what our life is supposed to be like and what our families are supposed to be like. But is this thinking Biblical?
Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” There is not a choice. We are not to conform to the standards and expectations of this world. If we are going to follow the Scriptures, our families need to look different than our neighbors. They may even need to look different than some of our church friends!
So… what are the characteristics of a biblically-minded family? If our minds continue to be transformed and renewed by the Bible, what will my family look like? What does it mean to be a family whose minds have been shaped by the principles in the Word of God? Below you will find some of the major categories that I believe set Biblically-minded families apart from just Christian families. While this list isn’t exhaustive, I believe these are some of the major categories that distinguish Biblically-minded families from others.
1. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about God.
We believe that there is only one God (in three persons), and He is the Creator and Sustainer of all things. God spoke the world into existence, and He is intricately involved in His Creation. He desires a relationship with us, His children. He is holy, perfect, uncreated, all-knowing, and all-powerful. (Genesis 1:1, Exodus 3:14, Psalm 19, Isaiah 43, Romans 8:14-15, Galatians 4:6, I John 5:7)
This can be a hard concept for some people to fathom: that the God of this world in all His power and majesty desires to have a relationship with us. But it is true! When we live in a family where we all believe this principle, then that affects how we live. We desire to spend time with God, getting to know who He is and what He does. We desire to ask Him for direction for our lives and aim to please Him by obeying what His Word says. This means that we may have to change our family rhythms, our family friends, where our kids go to school, or how we spend our free time.
2. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about Jesus.
Jesus is the Son of God who came to the earth as a baby and grew into a physical man. He was the perfect sacrifice for the sins of the whole world (past, present, and future). Jesus didn’t stay dead, though. He rose on the third day to defeat death, as He said He would. Jesus was not just a good teacher. He was the Messiah – the promised One. He now sits at the right hand of the Father and makes intercession for us. (Isaiah 7:14, Isaiah 53: 1-12, Matthew 1:18-22, Romans 1, Galatians 4:4-5).
Because we believe that Jesus is our Messiah, we desire to lift Him up in worship. Jesus is the center of our worship. We have attended some great churches over the years in various places we have lived. Some have had great teaching or children’s ministries or beautiful facilities or great people. One of the things that I have noticed is missing in some churches is how they praise and honor Jesus. Their worship is self-focused. Biblically-minded families will intentionally worship Jesus at home and at church because Jesus alone is worthy of all our adoration!
3. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about mankind.
God created each of us in His image, but we are all born as sinners which separates us from our holy God. Since we are unable to do anything about our debt of sin, God the Father sent His Son, Jesus to the earth to be a substitute for our sin. There is nothing good within us; even our good deeds are like filthy rags to Him. (Genesis 1:26-30, Psalm 1, Romans 1, Ephesians 2:1-22, Colossians 1:21-22)
One can see this characteristics of Biblically-Minded families by looking at the self-esteem of the members of the family. While all people struggle at times with self-worth, Biblically-Minded families are affirmed by knowing who they are in Christ. We know we are sinners, but we have been bought by the blood of Jesus which gives us hope. We don’t have any good within us, but when God sees us we are forgiven, chosen, accepted and loved.
4. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about their time.
They plan daily rhythms to make sure they are spending time in the Word and in prayer. Our time is not our own. It is not a renewable resource. We use it wisely to spend personal time with God in the Word and in prayer, and then create systems to disciple our families in the same way. When we model Biblical living to them, we give them appropriate Biblical boundaries to follow. (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, Psalm 90:12, Ephesians 5:16-18, James 4:14)
Our family decided many years ago that we would make family time a priority as we were building the characteristics of a Biblically-Minded Family. That meant that even though we could have our children in sports every night of the week, we wouldn’t let them do that. We valued our mealtimes together too much, so we made sure the sports and activities they had did not interfere too much in our family life. Some didn’t understand this. Why would limit the potential of your kids? We understand that our children will probably not be given a scholarship to university for soccer, but soccer is a mechanism for them to learn skills, grow stronger, and develop relationships and character. We have chosen not to sacrifice family time in the evenings for a sport on a regular basis.
5. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about church attendance.
While church attendance is not required for salvation, we assemble on a regular basis for worship, edification, baptism, the Lord’s Supper, and study of the Scriptures. It is important to identify with a body of believers to be able to complete the “one-anothers” that the New Testament commands us to – serving, loving, edifying, giving. (Exodus 20:8-11, Matthew 12:1-12, Romans 14:5-10, Colossians 3:16, Ephesians 4:32, I Thessalonians 3:12, 4:9-10, 5:11, Romans 13:8, 12:10, 12:16, 14:19, John 15:12)
Finding a church home for our family or even attending church regularly has not always been easy. We have had nursing babies, naughty toddlers, bad weather, cross-cultural worship (living in Zambia for seven years), and more. Since my husband has been a pastor, there were many Sundays where he had to be at church an hour before we did. That meant that I had to get all the kids (3, 4 or 5 kids) ready and out the door on time. It was quite a chore. Why did I put all that effort into it? It certainly was not easy. Because we valued being together with other believers, we wanted our children to have the foundation of church attendance. It is just what we do on Sundays – we go to church to worship, to hear the Word, to encourage one another and to give.
6. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about how to disciple their children.
Children are a gift from the Lord and are arrows in our quiver (Psalm 127:3-5). To use these gifts and arrows effectively, we need to be discipling our children in the ways of the Lord. We can do that by spending time reading the Word with them, memorizing verses with them, and talking to them about doctrines found in the Word. It is not the church’s job to teach and train our children. It is the parents’ responsibility. Discipling our children to know the Word, to obey its teachings and to be a blessing to others is a necessary job which takes much effort. (See my discipleship plans for children according to their ages here.) (Deuteronomy 6:6-9, I Samuel 1:26-28, Proverbs 22:6, 15, Proverbs 29:15-17, Colossians 3:21)
It is important that we steward our children well. At our home, we desire for our children to be a blessing to others. I’m sure you have all seen children in the grocery store who do not seem to be a blessing to their parents or society. Children, if let to their own ways, will continue to be selfish, self-serving, and destructive. Through the Word of God and discipleship of their parents, children learn to be a blessing to those around them as selfless givers. This is truly one of the hardest characteristics of a Biblically-Minded Family!
7. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about their money.
God gives us all our money so we can steward it for Him. It is not our own, even though it may seem like we are the ones getting the paychecks each month. Since God is the owner of it all, He desires us to wisely manage what He has given us – whether that is great or small. We steward it by giving a portion back to the Lord, by budgeting what we have so it is used well, by being generous to those in need, and by saving some to be used later. (Proverbs 3:9-10, Proverbs 13:8, Proverbs 22:7, Ecclesiastes 5:10, Matthew 6:19-33, Romans 13:8, I Timothy 6:10-19)
Our family’s view of money drastically changed after we attended Financial Peace University (by Dave Ramsey). We learned more about what the Bible says about money and how to care for it and use it in an effective way to stay out of debt and to be generous. How we handle our money can be a big indication of the condition of our relationship with God. Check out more about this effective class here or read one of his books listed here.
8. Biblically-minded families think Biblically about their relationships and roles in the family.
The New Testament teaches about the structure of the family and relates Jesus and the church with the family. Just as Jesus is the head of the church, so the husband is the head of the family. Some think that this means that the woman is a man’s slave. But do you think that the church is a slave to Jesus? No. Jesus loved the church and gave up everything for her. He is the groom and freely laid down His life for her as a servant. Jesus demonstrated a kind of love that is servant leader love. Likewise, the wife is a helper to her husband and serves him. She gladly serves him as her head. Because he is not domineering over her, it is easy for her to respect and love him in return.
The children are not the leaders in the home, and the parents and children are not friends. This does not mean that they are not friendly. It means that they have roles in the family where the parents are the authority and the children respect and obey their parents.
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