Developing Character in Children

When I think about what I hope my children will be like as adults, I don’t think about them being rich or living in a large house. I desire our children to be generous, hospitable, courageous, patient, wise, content, and compassionate. These types of adults will be valuable additions to society… ones who will model Christ-like character wherever they go. But do these traits just appear when children turn into adults? No! Developing character in our children takes intentional teaching and discipline. Join me as I explain how we have added Character Development into our family framework and share a resource to introduce this into your own family life.

When our children were in early elementary school (around ages 6-10), I heard a friend talking about adding “Character Developing” to her children’s home schooling. I was intrigued as she identified character that she saw wanted to see in her children, found a Bible verse that taught about that quality, made a definition for it, and then added a Bible story to demonstrate that trait. I went home interested in learning more on my own. After doing a little research, I found some character cards online, edited them, and started teaching them to our children. Read until the end to see the biggest change this has made in our family.

For example, I knew that I wanted our children to be patient. When waiting for an appointment, our kids would often get restless and start complaining. Building patience into them would be beneficial for our whole family — and others around us! But how do I just start making them and myself more patient? Here is the framework that we have used to do just that:

1. Download my packet of character posters (8.5 x 11 sheets) here and character cards (4 per page) here.

Next, print these sheets and cut out the character cards and then laminate both sets — the posters and cards. The posters are for hanging up in a prominent place (one by one as you use them). The cards are meant for punching a hole and putting on a ring to keep in a convenient location — on dining room table, on the homeschool cart, in the van, etc.

2. Decide which character quailty will be the most beneficial to add to your family:

content, compassionate, courageous, diligent, generous, humble, kind, hospitable, loyal, patient, respectful, serving, prayerful, faithful, honest, joyful, obedient, pure/modest, responsible, self-controlled, teachable

3. Prepare for teaching this character quality to your family.

Read through the definition, Bible verses and the Bible story. Become familiar with these so you can teach them. Ask God for help in developing character in your children in this way. Ask Him to make your children and yourself teachable and all of your hearts open to hear how the Lord wants you to change in this area.

4. Start on a Monday by introducing the Character Quality of the Week.

Ask if your children know what that quality means or have any ideas of ways they have seen this quality demonstrated positively or negatively. Read the definition on the poster to the children, talking about words that may be unfamiliar to them. Ask if they can use their own words to explain the definition. Turn in your Bibles to the memory verse listed on the poster. Read through that verse on the poster as well as in their Bibles. Hang the poster on your wall or on the bathroom mirror — in a place where your children will see it throughout the day.

5. On Tuesday review the defintion of the character trait, trying to memorize the definition as a group. Also read through the Bible verse to hold in your memory.

Today you will add the Bible story into your teaching time. Read the story to them, asking them to be listening for how the character quality was correctly or incorrectly demonstrated in the story. Where did you see this trait being displayed in the story. How would you have responded in this sitation? Would you have displayed this character quality like the main character did?
Review the definition and Bible memory verse again.

6. On Wednesday ask if your children can tell you the definition of the word for the week and the Bible Memory Verse.

Work on memorizing these today. (If you are unsure of how to help your children memorize Scripture, read my post about that here.) Have them copy the Bible verse on a piece of paper. (If you are going to make character development a new part of your life/homeschool, you may want to consider having a Character Development journal for each child. They can copy the name of the quailty, the definition, and the Bible verse onto one page of the journal. They could also add in a picture demonstrating the trait or an essay/paragraph about how to use this in every day life.)
Lastly, review the Bible story and the positive or negative way that was shown.

7. On Thursday have your children copy the defintion on a piece of paper or in their Character Development Journal.

Next, brainstorm ways to demonstrate this character quality around your home or in your family’s weekly rhythms. How have you seen each other demonstrating this trait?
Some families may want to have a Character Development Police of the week, someone who is tasked with looking for example of the quality around home. This will help to reward the family members who are displaying the character of the week. This policeman can change each week. It may be fun to use a badge from the Dollar Tree or one that you create to make it more authentic.

8. On Friday all of the children should be very familiar with the word, definition, and Bible memory verse.

First, have them draw pictures on a piece of paper or in their Character Development Journal of a way they can show the trait of the week. Next, allow time for each child to share what they have drawn as a way of review. You may be suprised at the mature responses they will have. Close the week with a review of this trait and a commitment to continue cultivating it in your family.

As we adding more character development in our children we reminded them of the old character cards that we had learned. Keeping the ring of cards on the dining table gave us an easy way to practice these character qualities — before, during, or after meal times. Our chidlren especially like quizzing daddy on them since he wasn’t always a part of our teaching time. They’d laugh when he didn’t get the definition exactly as we memorized.

Did this method of developing character in our children produce amazing results?

The transformation in our children did not take place overnight, and you couldn’t see a huge difference in our children immediately. It did produce three distinct changes in the life of our family, though.

First, we had a frame of reference in our discipleship. As our children needed correction, I asked them, “Are you showing self-control?” Immediately they knew what I was talking about. There was no guessing about what mommy meant. They thought of our definition, “Having power over how I feel and what I do so I will make wise choices that make God proud.” Sometimes all I needed to do was to remind them of the character trait, and they would change their behavior. We were all on the same page when it came to the meaning of these character qualities since we had studied them together for a whole week.

Second, since all of the children knew the expectations, they were able to point them out in each other. They encouraged each other to do the right thing and hold to the standards that we had set for our family according to the Word of God. It was such a blessing to hear them say, “Wow, mom, you were really patient when that man was talking mean to you in the store.” OR “Josiah, I could tell that you chose to be kind even though it was hard to be.” Such sweet affirmations from the children!

Finally, as we intentionally taught through these character qualities, our kids knew the standards that God had given them. These were not just suggestions that their parents were forcing on them. They saw the traits as the mandates from God because we used Scripture as our guide for each one. These were the guidelines that we had for them in all of life. Sometimes we assume that our children know what the Word of God says about these things. Slowing down to intentionally teach them the character that God wants for all of us deepens our knowledge of the Truth and elevates the standards in our own hearts.

Have you tried developing character in your own children? What tips do you have to share our community? Comment below.

Download my character posters here and my character cards here.

Are you looking for more ways to disciple your children? Click here for my framework for discipleship which is separated by age groups.