This ASK SARAH series will help answer some of the questions you have about me, our family, and our ministry. If you have any other questions for me, please let me know by leaving them in a comment below. Your question may be the next one I write about in ASK SARAH.
I have talked with homeschooling moms around the world — from the United States to Zambia to the UK to Canada to Uganda to South Africa to Southeast Asia and beyond. One thing that we all have in common is we have discouraging times and just want to quit. Yes, I said “WE” because there have been several times in my homeschool journey of over 13 years that I have wanted to throw in the towel and sell the children. HA! OK, not really, but I knew I needed a break from them for a while. Homeschooling is HARD. It requires moms to spend ourselves, putting our desires on the back burner and being patient instead of screaming!
So, what has helped me stay in the ring and not quit and be joyful?
1. Praying for my children and asking God to make me joyful in homeschooling
When I am feeling discouraged, I am tempted to talk to my husband or to take things out on our children. The best thing for me to do is to take a break and talk to my Heavenly Father. I leave the room and go to my bedroom to be alone for a little bit. God knows the situation better than I do. He knows me better than I know myself and provides what I need. God gives me a pep talk, patience, strength, wisdom, etc. After laying my burdens at His feet (and maybe getting myself a piece of chocolate and some water), I’m feeling better and ready to tackle the rest of the day.
2. Remembering my “why” keeps me joyful.
Do you remember those early days of homeschooling when you were so excited and felt that you could conquer the world even with a nursing baby attached to you? Think back to those days. Why did you originally choose to homeschool? Some families homeschool because it was the only option, others homeschool because they feel convicted by God that it is their duty as Christian parents to give a Biblical worldview, others want to give a more rounded education in areas that their children are interested. Think about what your why is. Write that down. Remember the conviction and joy that you had as you began this marathon. Ask God to renew that within you.
3. Reading good books that point me to the Truth
If you are a homeschool mom, I’m sure that you have read or are reading good books. You could probably list for me several authors that you love in various different genres. One category of reading that some moms neglect is in homeschooling/motherhood. There are many excellent books and blogs which can be a great encouragement, blessing, and resource for moms. Find one or two and start reading. You may want to read when you are on a longer break from school, or you may find that those life-giving words are necessary right in the throes of the battle.
For example, one such book for me has been “Teaching from Rest” by Sarah Mackenzie. I have read this book at the beginning of almost every school year since 2015. There are several different colors of underlining, some yellow highlighting, numerous paragraphs with stars beside them, and lots of notes in the margins. It’s not that I have adopted Sarah’s homeschooling style 100%, but the fact that through her writing I see new truths each year that I need to get me ready for the school year. They are an encouragement to my heart and my soul. Her words get me thinking about my school from a new perspective and help me to brainstorm new methods for our year.
Find a book or blog that will be one to feed your heart and soul. Check out these authors:
Sally Clarkson, Pam Barnhill, Charlotte Mason, Durenda Wilson, and so many more!
4. Finding like-minded moms to encourage me
In my homeschooling it has been a necessity to sit with other homeschooling moms to visit and share together. We don’t sit and gripe about all the problems within the walls of our homes, but we do look to each other for help and advice. Those times together renew our desires for homeschooling and turn our hearts to our own homes. Some people can find these relationships by attending a Homeschool Co-op, while others find them through church. It is important to “find your people”. Find friends and mentors who will encourage you, will advise you, will support you, and will give you a gentle reproof when needed as well.
5. Restructuring my days to incorporating more life-giving activities
There are some parts of homeschooling that we just don’t like — whether that is correcting papers, planning, dissecting animals in biology, teaching phonics, or helping with algebra II. Some of our tasks as mothers and homeschoolers can be life-giving to one mom while they are life-draining to others.
In order to combat that, think of the things that you love to do with your kids — the ones that give you an immediate smile and begin to incorporate those things in your rhythms of homeschooling. If you like to bake together, make every Wednesday a baking day instead of doing your regular math lesson. (You CAN do that, you know.) If you love snuggling on the couch with a stack of picture books, make that a daily routine after lunch or before bed or whenever it fits into your life the best; if you feel like you are carrying an elephant on your back each time you pull out your science curriculum because you or your children hate it, change the curriculum. (Sell what you are using, find books from the library, or search for a free curriculum online.) Do you love being outdoors with your kids? Plan a hiking adventure or take your books outside.
Overall, Mom, you have the power to change your homeschool to be more how you want it to be. You can change your daily rhythms to reflect what is important to you and your family and what gives you joy. There have been seasons that we only did our book work four out of the five days. On the fifth day we had a Fun Friday where we went on adventures and had people over. We loved Fun Fridays — they brought life and joy into our school week. It made many memories and relationships that our kids still cherish. It is up to you to evaluate your home and school and make changes. Only you can do it. It is worth it.
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